Inner peace and other things that I’ll voluntarily work for.

I logged in to my online banking page yesterday, expecting to see my debit account containing somewhere around the usual, hilariously low amount of money to my name. But this time, it was way lower than usual, holy-crap low, not so hilarious anymore low.

Yoga is a very expensive thing to be in love with.

Last night (after painfully handing over a twenty and getting less change back than I would have liked) I took an awesome flow class with Kelley. At the beginning of class, she had each participant choose a card with little sayings and words of wisdom written on them. She went on to say that the card we chose was not random, that what it contained was a divine message, something we needed to learn in that moment.  Can you guess what mine said? Can you even imagine?

“There is no price too great for inner peace.”

Good one, God.

After the initial internal laughter and mental fist shaking towards the heavens, I settled into the class. And once I got settled, I realized that the card meant something else, something that I had forgot about. A week ago, I applied to work at the yoga center in return for free classes, but I had feelings like…will all the work I put in at the studio really be worth it? After the class though, my feelings changed. The card that I chose made me realize that OF COURSE the work will be worth it. Free? Unlimited? Yoga? Yes and please. I’ll wash mats and check people into classes all day long if you want me to. Pleeeease give me this job.

Today, I was accepted as the new work/trade girly. My bank account and overall sense of well being are going to thank me.

Sometimes, this is how [insert your preferred word that means God but won’t offend you here] works. Sometimes you’re reminded in a gentle way of what you need to be doing. It’s a lighthearted, serendipitous, ha-ha-very-funny wake up call. Cherish these. Love these. Feel blessed when one comes your way.

Most times, this is not the way life is. We learn lessons by going through shitty situations. And I don’t mean shitty as in losing your keys or missing a flight. I’m talking about when it all comes crashing down, when it seems like there is no hope, when you feel that all is lost. I’m talking about crying a lot, losing sleep, being angry, feeling like it’s the morning after you’ve taken ten tequila shots, except this feeling stays with you all day and you didn’t drink the night before. I’m talking about death, loss, betrayal. Yeah, that’s the breed of shitty I’m talking about.

We’ve all been there.

These situations aren’t given to us without a reason. Like the card I chose in the yoga class, negative things that happen aren’t random or God’s little way of watching us suffer. God isn’t an asshole.

In these situations, we two have options. We can sit on our ass, spending all of our time being angry at ourselves, someone else, or the world in general, and do nothing. Or, we can see what the situation is trying to tell us.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not saying you aren’t allowed to be mad. In fact, be mad. If you’re in a bad situation, feel the way you want to feel. Trying to “look on the bright side” when something really, really shitty happens is like telling yourself that your sadness and anger aren’t valid. Our society has an obsession with being happy and tries to tell you that being sad is wrong. Don’t buy it. It’s bullshit.

Blind optimism is so last year. Truth is the new black. : )

Instead of all that, look for the lesson. Be sad as you look for the lesson if you want, but don’t not look for it.

So maybe it’s God playing a practical joke on you during a yoga class, or maybe it’s worse: the unthinkable, the serious, the shitty. Whatever the situation is, seek, endlessly, for the heart of what you’re dealing with. It’s always there. Sometimes it’s hard to see, fogged up by all the horror, tucked away in the depths. But it’s there. Just look.


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