Day 13: Stream of consciousness

I didn’t think I was going to write today, I didn’t feel like it at all.

But now I do, as I lay down to sleep, I have something on my mind. It’s something I never write about because I don’t want to be cliche and write about love. But tonight, I’m thinking about love.

I really love Alex. Like…really really. Sometimes I wish I had this amazing love story to tell people, but in reality we have had the roughest of roads. We haven’t had the chance to have a real relationship, the kind where you can go on dates and say goodnight in person, for over two years. Geography hasn’t been kind to us. And throughout that time we have hurt each other, had to let go of things, forgive, fly and drive thousands of miles, Skype, trust, hope, beg. Things have happened to us that I wouldn’t wish on any couple, on any two people who love each other.

But somehow, this love story has unfolded between us, and it IS a love story the more I think about it, because we have been so damn stubborn, never let go of the hope for a real relationship some day, because despite of all the shit and distance and hard times, we still love, our hearts still belong to each other. I just think he’s the coolest. The cutest. The best. He is still my sweet babe, I don’t even care if we aren’t officially “together” because I am always thinking about him, always talking about him, always loving him.

All I want to do is be with him, go climbing, make mango salsa, drink beer, listen to music and brush my teeth next to him.

It’s midnight. More tomorrow on this. I don’t know if I want to publish this.

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