Day 8: I’m sorry

I started writing today with this sentence: I’m sorry that I didn’t write for the past two days…

But I don’t want to start my day like that, apologizing for the gorgeous weekend I had in the Sierras, filled with good climbing and good people.

I remember how I would raise my hand in psychology class and how every question I asked would start with “I’m sorry…”

Why am I so sorry all of the damn time? We are all sorry. We live in apology.

I’m sorry but can you pull over I have to go pee…

Apologizing for my bladder?

Sorry, I didn’t hear what you just said.

Apologizing for someone else’s mumbling.

I’m really sorry I didn’t show up this weekend, I was exhausted from work and really needed a night to myself. 

Apologizing for taking care of myself.

I’m sorry I haven’t forgiven you yet for that shitty thing you did.

Yeah, what?

Sorry for being so psyched about some sweet looking tree, sorry but I kinda like Miley Cyrus, I’m sorry about that time I didn’t text you back because I fell asleep, sorry I eat meat, sorry I’d rather read the latest Barbara Kingsolver novel tonight than meet you for drinks, I’m sorry that I hate skiing, and snowboarding too, sorry I’m climbing so slowly, sorry I went to south Georgia for school, sorry I watch the Kardashians and think they’re hilarious, sorry but I completely disagree, I’m sorry I’m so addicted to caffeine, sorry your kid isn’t as good as the other kids at rock climbing but I think she loves it anyway, sorry my hands are so cold, sorry about how I don’t want that full time job, I’m sorry but my name is Georgie not Georgia, sorry Brandy Melville but I can’t get your ‘one size fits all’ dress off of me because my shoulders are so broad, yes you should probably get some scissors, sorry but no I don’t have any Advil, sorry I love you so damn much and think the sun shines out of your ass.

I’m so sorry that you’re so offended and challenged by my opinion, next time I’ll just keep quiet.

I see this mentality everywhere, but especially with women. Most of us are in a constant state of apology. Why? What are we so sorry about? We completely give up our personal power when we act like this.

But it’s more than just I’m sorry. It’s all of the: I hate to bother you but, I know this is asking a lot, I totally owe you, this is probably dumb of me to wonder, I feel terrible about that, don’t hate me but…sorry, sorry, sorry.

It’s like we don’t feel entitled or worthy enough, but we know that in order to be a confident person we have to express ourselves, so we go out into the world and say this is me! But then we just throw it all away by apologizing for it.

Enough already. I wanna be done with the apologies, because ya know what? This is what I like and this is what I think and this is who I am. Keep declaring who you are, chances are you’ve already made someone’s day and all of your friends probably think you’re hilarious. Don’t cheat yourself by apologizing. Don’t be sorry.

Lately I’ve been feeling really happy–and however fleeting of an emotion that tends to be, I’m definitely not gonna ruin it with something like an apology. So yes, I missed two days of writing this month, and I don’t really care 🙂

 

photo

 

Truth. Check out Maggie’s blog. She’s a badass. Have a good day everyone!

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Brent
    Oct 11, 2013 @ 08:54:31

    I’m sorry G, but this made me honestly laugh out loud – “sorry I love you so damn much and think the sun shines out of your ass.”

    Thanks kid for helping me laugh a little more today …

    Reply

  2. Edwina
    Dec 18, 2013 @ 23:02:29

    This poem at 2:55. I hear you and I’m trying to quit apologizing as well.

    Reply

  3. Edwina
    Dec 18, 2013 @ 23:02:50

    Reply

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